We have all felt fear at some point in time. Fear is not a “negative” nor “bad” emotion. It is a feeling that wants to protect us in some way, either by preserving your integrity or courage. Fear is not the same as caution. Caution is a certain natural body alert that is used to take care of your life. When you cross the street, you are cautious to turn your head and look to see if any cars are coming, or when you warm a child of danger, like when they’re playing near a window.
Fear, on the other hand, is associated to a stronger feeling of losing something, that something terrible is going to happen, of not having or being able to fulfill what you want, or simply having fear of the unknown. Some emotional states could create fear: restlessness, insecurity, anxiety, anguish, uncertainty, etc. When the fear is strong, these emotional states are accentuated, a lot of times to become paralyzing or forcing us to try to remove ourselves from reality, which is the most extreme case of people who disassociate from their reality.
How to make fear disappear?
A lot of times, fear arises when we hide or deny our feelings, ideas, or thoughts that we believe to be “bad”. Human beings have become skilled at repressing or disguising what they don’t want to see. In some way, they bury unpleasant thoughts rather than facing them, believing that they are ridding themselves of what they don’t want to perturb them or steal their peace. Sometimes it seems like we achieve this, but it’s not always that way.
You must know that in spite of how hard you deny it, you hide or repress the feelings that you don’t like, they stay inside you in some way. The results is that you suddenly feel restless, fearful, insecure or worries. You cannot relax or even sleep well.
In order to help make this fear and emotions derived from this attitude disappear, you could turn to meditation, which is a truly useful tool for helping observe and unearth whatever it is that causes you to be tense, anxious, etc.
How do I meditate?
It’s best to find a place free of distractions or noise, but that is not necessary. Some people meditate while on the bus, or standing in line. If you’re starting out, however, it is definitely recommendable to begin in an area that you feel at peace.
Meditation is a state of contemplation, which means conscious observation of something.
In order to meditate and diminish fear, all you need to do is observe objectively (without judgement).
It is important that the first few times you meditate, you do it as a game, because a lot of people can’t meditate because they are expecting a lot from the meditation. They feel like they’re not doing it well, or that they’re taking it too seriously, which prevents them from relaxing.
Once you find a comfortable spot, just imagine that your mind is a blank chalk board on which your ideas are drawn. Then, let those ideas be drawn out, and just answer, in your mind, the question: “What is it that I truly fear?”
Then, just let the ideas flow through your mind, without resisting them. Observe them as if you were watching a movie, and avoid judging them. If you feel resistance, breathe deeply and just allow your mind to show what it wants to show you, knowing that what you think or fear is just a thought, an idea, information that somehow asks you to look at it.
If you don’t learn to observe your fears, they will be latent inside you. Fears are just like bubbles blocked in your unconscious, that need to be made conscious. When you become conscious of something you don’t like, you could feel resistance or rejection to the idea, and you may want to think about something else. However, once you observe what you fear, try to carry that idea to understanding.
For example: if you are afraid of having an accident, perhaps you’ve seen something terrible at some point in your life and you were stuck with the memory. If you’ve seen sickness, you might fear being sick, and if you’ve suffered some sort of lacking, aggression ,etc., this could be your fear. However, your reality doesn’t need to be like what you have seen out there, nor like others have made you believe. So, once the images start to appear, let them go. Focus your attention on your heart, which is where your own power resides, and think that you are protected and well loved by that strength that resides within you. It is the same strength that lives in nature and in every human being.
If you don’t feel relieve, focus on the beating of your heart and make yourself feel peaceful and protected. Then, slowly observe your body and pinpoint any resistances. Let yourself relax, making your entire body pulse with the same beat of your heart, explaining to your body that life doesn’t want anything bad for you, but rather just to have nice experiences that fill you with understanding, because that’s how you have chosen it to be.
Do this meditation slowly, and as many times as you need to until you feel much more peaceful. If you can’t focus at first, or you resist thinking about your fears, try it later. Don’t force yourself too much. Remember that meditating is a way of educating the mind and beginning to direct it towards what you really want.