Published: 09/13/2014 - Updated: 09/15/2014
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Knowing how to ask is very important. This is a famous metaphysical phrase that suggests and invites you to see if it is true that just by asking, we will be given what we ask for. In spite of the fact that this affirmation sounds firm and resounding, a lot of people might doubt its truth. We can avoid thinking about these things in times that we have asked for something with all our might, and it just didn’t happen. Why are we given some things, and not other things? Why don’t we get everything we ask for? Where’s the true secret to that phrase?
Asking is something that we’ve done ever since we were born. Ever since we were little we have had needs, and we have asked for them, for resources, food, water, attention, etc. From an early age, crying was the way we asked for what we wanted, and when we didn’t know how to talk, we signed for things we wanted, so they could be given to us. As we grew and learned to speak, we then began to use words to ask for what we wanted.
Now that we’re adults, asking for something is really easy: we ask for favors, things, experiences, etc. This problem is that a lot of these things sometimes come true, and other times not. On the other hand, we also get things and situations in our life that it seems we “never asked for”, and that all of a sudden, they’re there, they “appear” out of no where. We get debt, problems, illnesses, etc., and if we’re “lucky”, we get surprises, awards, offers, and gifts.
The art of knowing how to ask
It doesn’t always seem like we ask for what we get. A yet, there it is. Everything we have, we have because in some way, we have asked for it. In some way we are asking for something in every moment of our lives, even if we don’t notice it, with our thoughts, attitudes, habits, and words. Every day we ask for things and experiences in life. If this seems a bit exaggerated to you, just pay attention for one day to your thoughts, habits, and attitudes, and you will see how many messages you send a day.
A lot of times we aren’t conscious of everything we think, do, and say. We typically don’t stop to think while we’re doing, which means, our thoughts are very rushed, and travel around our minds in a disorderly fashion throughout the entire day. So while we are doing an endless amount of activities, our thoughts come and go without rhyme or reason. Similarly, we also pay very little attention to how we speak, and we lose sight of our habits and attitudes that, with their intention, sends a very interesting message in life. Thinking “along the way” means slowly attending to our thoughts.
Knowing how to ask is not only done for a few minutes out of the day: this is about a constant attitude, a way of being, a way of life. If you go to a restaurant and ask the waiter for a soup, you don’t go to the kitchen every few minutes to see if they’re making it. You ask for it and wait, you chat, you take a step back. And then, the soup arrives. what happens when you ask and trust completely that it will come? It comes. You attitudes, your words, your thoughts all say that you know that the dish you asked for will soon be serves.
However, what happens when you don’t get what you asked for? What happens when it takes longer than expected? Well, there are a lot of reasons this may happen. For example, if you get something you didn’t want, it is likely that you didn’t clearly ask for what you wanted. You message was confusing. When you don’t get what you wanted, or it takes a long time, it could be that you aren’t trusting that what you want will arrive, or that your range of acceptance isn’t big enough to admit what you asked for.
Knowing how to ask is making what you asked for real. And this has to do with deep questions. However, if you want to fine tune your power of asking for things so that they come, you can practice with simple and practical things in your life, and take time to discover why some things come and others don’t.
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For example: a good exercise for understanding this power is to observe what happens when you ask someone a favor: observe how that person reacts, if they “give” you what you asked for or not, and observe. Then, look at how you asked them, the manner in which you asked, and how you felt when you were asking. Do this every time you ask for something, and observe when you get it, and when you don’t.
When you don’t get what you asked for, it is very important that you ask yourself the following question: “Were you asking for it with desperation, anger, demanding, or rage? Because if so, you weren’t asking, but rather demanding. And that is not the same thing: “Ask and ye shall receive”, or “Demand and ye shall receive”. There is an abysmal difference between the two. The first one asks. The second one wants to rage. The first one suggests confidence and detachment; the second one talks of fear, tension, and attachment. It is very important that you observe if you demand or “rage”, rather than asking. Things will never come to you that way, or you will be denied. Or they will be sold without harmony or happiness. The way in which you ask for things is very powerful. When asking, you should always try to feel detachment from what you’re asking for, make it a loving request. You should try to be friendly towards whom you ask, but not a force friendliness, but a sincere friendliness. You should even mix in a feeling of anticipatory gratitude for what you will receive.
It is also very helpful to observe what you feel and think every time you ask someone something. Look when it comes and when it doesn’t, and why that happens. For example: if a small child asks you for a knife…Would you give it to him? Why not? The answer seems obvious: because they could hurt themselves, they’re still not mature enough to handle a knife. If you are wise, you won’t give it to him even though he cries, screams, and kicks. Inside, you have a very wise and intelligent nature that influences everything you ask for and want. You interior wisdom known what will benefit you in life, and the things that impede your development, both spiritual and mental. That’s why a lot of times it seems like you don’t get what you want or ask for, even though you cry, scream, and kick. However, you will is powerful, and a lot of times you can make things happen if you want them to, even if it’s not the best thing for you. But this is important: when you ask for something, ask “in harmony with myself, and with the entire world”.
So if, in your life, you feel like you haven’t received much of what you wanted, it is time to begin practicing and understanding this power that you have deep down. However, if you begin to understand how this works little by little, and if you are persistent in practicing what was just mentioned, and you also begin by being thankful for everything that you have in your life, knowing that everything, “as good or as bad as it may seem”, is an important and necessary bridge for you to grow in every sense. You will see how in just a short amount of time, you will begin to attract what you really want to your life. In life, only things we ask for “appear”, be it with your habits, words, or thoughts. When these are integrated, you then generate a great power of attraction. And then, what you want simply happens.
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People talk a lot now about the strength of attraction of thoughts. It is important that you never lose sight of the reasons you do things. Always observe your reasons, because a lot of times we are not conscious of this, and we omit the true reasons as to why we ask for or want something. In reality, the mind is a fabulous tool that gives you everything you ask for, it has always done so. Perhaps one of the things we need is to dominate our thoughts and to try to keep that in mind.
If life is chaotic, distant, and a complete mess, this just reflects how chaotic, messy, and distant our thoughts are from what we want. So if you want something in life, besides keeping everything we just talked about in mind, you should learn to be very patient and to trust more in that your mind is what attracts, and will attract, everything you have and will have in life.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 09/15/2014
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