Published: 10/15/2014 - Updated: 01/07/2018
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Currently there are a lot of people who are looking for a partner. How to Find a Partner? More than one half of the population seems to be looking for love. If this number sounds high to you, just take a look at the number of divorces and separations right now; a lot of them are because of the concepts of relationships have changed over time. The idea of a partner to last “until death do us part”, has now become forgotten, and this phrase has even been replaced by a more comical phrase, “until money do us part”.
What people once used to endure, or had to endure, in a marriage, is no longer tolerated. Both women and men express what they feel and think more openly, and people are now daring to leave behind what no longer keeps them satisfied, without thinking about it so much. Relationships seem to last much shorter than before, and we’re seeing a lot more single mothers and father around, as well as young and old people that are still looking for the perfect love.
At any rate, people seem to be searching for someone to accompany them or share their lives with. And it is interesting to see so many people looking for a partner, but that never “find” one.
Tips in how to find a partner
If you are one of those people that are looking for a partner and has yet to find one, the key may lie in the way in which you are searching. Below we will provide you with a few recommendations to give you a new focus on this need or desire to find the perfect partner.
- Avoid despair: sometimes, when searching for the perfect partner, we find the perfect “imperfect” partner. What we mean is, we find all sorts of people that seem to have nothing in common with ourselves. A lot of this is because in some way, you are searching desperately. So the first step is to stop searching impatiently because this will only take you exactly where you don’t want to go.
- Observe yourself: A lot of times we say we’re not frustrated, or that it doesn’t matter to us if we have someone or not. But deep down, we have a truly strong desire to find someone. If you deny or want to hide this need, desperation tends to grow. It’s best to be honest with yourself and to accept whatever emotional need you may have. In order to do this, you must observe yourself and see what you truly feel. If observing this need makes you want to cry, or if something moves you inside, you must get it out. You must observe this necessity in order for the impatience to die down.
- How would you like your partner to be?: A lot of people think that making a list of the qualities that your perfect partner will have will help them find him/her. But a lot of times this list contains meeting someone “nice”, and when you find that “nice” person, nothing “clicks”. It’s best that you avoid making a list of qualities when you dream of your partner, and rather, dream about how you would like your partner to make you feel. Imagine doing things you would like to do with him or her, visualize yourself as happy and functioning properly, so that when the person you were searching for arrives, you will be able to share more happiness. You will therefore avoid becoming dependent over time, which would only ruin your relationship. If you don’t feel like your life is lacking anything, it’s better to feel like you’re ready, then, to share the beauty inside yourself.
- Do not accept relationships that do not make you proud nor worthy of having. Do not accept people in your life just to feel accompanied, and do not feel any social pressure to have a partner and to be accompanied everywhere. Be patient, and wait for what you’re looking for.
- Do not search for a partner to solve your life or your problems. You yourself need to grow and look for the help you need to feel good, and to have more confidence and integrity.
- If you really feel a strong need to find a partner, search for new activities that you like; write, draw, learn something new. Do not let your need force you into situations that you don’t like, or make you endure things that you don’t like. Do everything you can to take control of your need and to not “give yourself away” so easily. Appreciate yourself, but do not stop being modest. If you value yourself as a valuable individual, and you focus on your own development, you will soon see you how begin to be your own jewel, and others will search for you. Always remember that neither diamonds nor gold need to search for anyone to buy them, or to value them.
- And lastly, if you go somewhere to find a partner, avoid assuming false postures or being something you’re not. Be simple and don’t try to impress anyone, just focus on having a good time. If you follow all these tips, you will see that when you’re least expecting it, someone very special will walk into your life.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 01/07/2018
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