Published: 08/14/2018 - Updated: 02/08/2019
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Who knows if the heart will one day tire of trying to get that special someone to love them, to desire them, or even just be interested in them. That person who has enchanted your heart has seeped into the most sensitive and darkest corners of your soul. That person has your poor heart trapped like a little mouse, beating between the hands of hope and grief, while they come and go as if it were no big deal, barely even noticing the effect they have on you.
Who hasn’t ever experienced unrequited love?
Even if your heart never tires, the body does. Little by little the body is worn out by this lack of love, and you don’t know what to do, exactly, with all those symptoms of tiredness and grief. Sometimes you want to just throw out that strong desire to be loved back, just to get on with your own life. Why do you always have to be waiting for that other person to look your way, or to give you a little bit of attention, to be happy?
Sometimes you just want to crumple your heart up into a little ball, just like a piece of paper, to somehow get rid of that need. But you heart can’t be told what to do like that. And even though your heart get distracted by silly things every once in a while, it will inevitably turn back to where it believes it will find the most sublime love of all. It doesn’t want any other. All other possible loves seem meaningless compared to what it thinks it could experience with its desired partner.
What causes this need to be loved?
There are several ways that people can interpret the word “love”, and in love relationships, it seems like the more pain you feel, the more you believe you are loved. I believe just the opposite: the more pain, the less love.
The soul has ideals and desires to fulfill in this world. When the soul is not satisfied, when you hold back your most sincere desires and push them aside, your internal compass which was always destined to point you towards happiness, looks for ways to substitute your dissatisfaction or emptiness that you feel. One of those ways is to focus your energies on something or someone that makes up for your internal frustration, and that reminds you, among other things, of your ability to dream, invent, and imagine.
Pain, the messenger
One way to see yourself is through pain. When something hurts us, it invites us to take a look inside ourselves. Falling in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same towards us, and to therefore feel that pain, is just one way that our internal wisdom invites us to focus our attention on our own interiority. But how? By looking at the dreams and aspirations that we created with the other.
Pain and aspirations
Pain can be translated a lot of different ways. In the case of unrequited love, pain can make us believe we aren’t worthy enough, beautiful enough, intelligent, rich, or wonderful enough to have the privelege of being loved. The aspirations formed here only show how ignored our hearts feel. The less we pay attention to what we feel and truly want, the more pain we will feel, and the more we will need the presence of someone or something else to remind us of the happiness that we lack, and the happiness that we haven’t yet learned to get for ourselves.
If someone makes your heart sigh, day and night, and you feel ignored by them, never believe that there is no cure for this “disease”. The truth is, there is. And it’s called making your own happiness. So you have two options: get the lead out and begin making your own reality that you truly want in life, and focus or thoughts on these aspirations, OR spend the rest of your life waiting for someone that, who knows if they’re even thinking about you at this very moment.
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Wanting to share a life with someone is a beautiful thing, but remember, the most beautiful type of love, is reciprocated love. What is a lover, if there’s nothing to love? So start directing your love towards yourself. This might be a bit hard for you at first, but if you persist in trying to find what makes your life feel truly fulfilling, you’ll notice that you will begin to generate a charismatic energy around yourself, that will be a strong force of attraction. By being at ease with yourself, and understanding and accepting yourself as you are, others will perceive this harmony that shines forth from your heart. Soon it will be everyone else who is waiting to be noticed by you.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 02/08/2019
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