Published: 11/20/2014 - Updated: 08/29/2018
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Would you like to have by your side that person that is so special to you? Would you like to have a partner that understands you and loves you for who you are? Do you feel like that special someone doesn’t pay attention to you as much as you’d like? Do you feel it’s hard to find or attract the love of your life? Do you feel alone and lonely? Does it hurt you when the person you like doesn’t pay attention to you or give you a spot in their heart? If you have these symptoms, you undoubtedly need to give yourself a new understanding of love.
Finding love
Frequently, we center ourselves too much of other people loving or understanding us, or consider us to be special. Then we begin to uphold attitudes and ways of being artificial and strategic for getting others to love us, admire or respect us. When these strategies work, everything seems wonderful and we feel like we’re flying and we’re excited to be alive. The problem comes into play when what we do or want doesn’t work at attracting who we love, and then we feel worn down, depressed, and even desperate. We don’t feel like doing anything. So we sit down and think about what’s wrong with us, why don’t they love us for who we are? And why aren’t we as lucky as others that have a partner by their sides with whom to share their lives?
A lot of times, we can’t find the answer to these questions, making us try to disguise what we feel and making us believe that we aren’t important to the people we love or that you don’t need to have someone near. On the other hand, you could lament your bad luck and feel like there’s truly something “bad” in you, and that you might not be beautiful enough, intelligent enough, or as lucky as other people.
What is really happening?
The truth is, the secret to attracting love resides primarily in the way in which we perceive ourselves and the way in which we treat ourselves and feel about ourselves. It doesn’t matter how beautiful or intelligent you are. If you don’t feel comfortable with yourself and learn to enjoy, know, and understand yourself, it will be hard for others to feel comfortable with your presence too. And no matter how much you do, you will grow distant from the love of your life. Other people will feel, in some way (even though you may try to hide it), that you are “desperate” for attracting love.
That’s why it’s important to focus your attention not in how to conquer others, but in how to conquer love in your own life. If your decisions are based on pleasing others, or in getting attention, or on making others love you more, then you are walking down the wrong path. If others are not in agreement with your decisions, then you will feel frustrated and unfulfilled.
When your decisions are based on making you happy and in expanding your abilities, and on your own growth, you are then cultivating a life in which you truly feel satisfied, in spite of the obstacles that exist. If you scold or disapprove of yourself easily, rather than becoming your own friend or guide, then you won’t feel very comfortable with yourself and your will look to others for giving you what you yourself cannot. This will make you focus on wanting to attract attention, affecting and admiration from others. And the less you succeed the more your self-esteem and security fads away, because it depends on how others treat or love you.
So the secret to attracting the love of your life is to center yourself in your own happiness and your path will undoubtedly hold the treasures you search for in others.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 08/29/2018 
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