• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

The Joy of Wellness

Living better and longer, Natural Health

Main navigation

The Joy of Wellness

What? Would you like to find?
Browse by categories
  • Weight Loss
  • Health and Beauty
  • Diets and Nutrition
  • Natural Remedies
  • Alternative Medicine
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Life in Fullness
  • The Joy of Wellness from A to Z
  • All topics

Expressing love wisely

  • The properties of Apples
  • Isoflavones and Adolescence: What are they, and what are they good for?

Published: 08/05/2018 - Updated: 02/01/2019

Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes

The other day, I overheard a conversation between a woman and her partner.  Sometimes, when you’re out on the street, you hear something, and as much as I tried to ignore it, at that moment I had no choice since I was riding public transit and was so close to them.

Expressing love wiselyAs they dove into their language of lovers, and while the sweetness of their hugs and kisses dripped from their words, I heard her voice declare “I love you more than my own life”, to which he responded with a fervent and indiscreet kiss, that left all the other spectators in an uncomfortable silence.  His own voice was then heard saying: “There will never be anyone else like you”.

Contents

  • Destined for pain
  • The message of dependence
  • Expressing love: Love is sharing

Destined for pain

Similar phrases were spewed out during the entire trip.  In cases like this one, it’s always best to pretend some sort of distraction, because…what else can you do?  So I preferred to pay attention to the music in the background, where they were definitely singing about something completely opposite to the lovers’ sugar-coated words.  The singer uttered words of bitterness, along the lines of “you promised me love, and look what you gave me”, “You said I was your world, your life, and look at who you spend all your time with now…it hurts, it hurts, your betrayal hurts”.  Yes, it’s funny, but I couldn’t help but think about the possible and heart breaking break-up for this couple that is promised by the most fantastical love story.

Frequently we move from love to pain, and then from pain, we jump right back again into love.  And to tell the truth, it’s often times harder to make the last just, especially when the pain is not understood.

The truth is, pain is not love.  Pain is rather a sign that forces us to take a look inside ourselves, and pay attention to something that needs urgent assessment, appreciation, and respect on our part: that something, is “me”. 

The message of dependence

If we were to listen a little bit better to what we say when we’re in love, it would give us an obvious clue as to why we feel pain so often when we love: “I can’t live without you”, “I love you more than my own life”, “If you go, I’ll die”, “there will never be anyone else like you”, “love only comes once”, “you’ll always be in my heart”, etc.  We were taught that these words were a sign of great love, but I think what they really do, is distance us from great love, and over time, create pain.  There is something just beneath these words that in some way condition us to pain when we repeat them.  There is a message of dependence and undervaluation for whoever utters them, because underneath these words, you proclaim: “you are worth more than I am”.  

Expressing love: Love is sharing

Love between two people is sharing.  To promise eternal love to the other, or to tell them that if they go, we’ll die, unnecessarily ties us, and conditions us.  These types of words trap us in dependency, because in some way, we rest our happiness in another.  And even though at that moment, they seem like just some playful words, it is absolutely necessary that we observe in every moment what we say, no matter how nonchalant they may seem.

Everything matures and transforms, and what once was one thing, becomes another.  This is a natural process, everything has its own time and place.  To say “never change”, or “my love will never change for you”, is to trap the heart with cheap thoughts that deny it the magic of transformation.

  • Isoflavones and Adolescence: What are they, and what are they good for? Isoflavones and Adolescence: What are they, and what are they good for?

If we learn to depend, we will feel pain.  If we speak in words that limit us, we will live in a prison.  If we begin to observe and become more creative with our words, we could begin to express love in more sincere terms like “it’s amazing sharing my life with you” “I love being by your side”, “my heart lights up in your presence”.

Speaking should be more than a simple action of “filling” time.  Our words should be taken from our deepest understanding, and then given form with our own creativity, wearing our heart on our sleeves.  By doing this we become more conscious of the power and magic of words.  The more depth and understanding that we express in speaking, the more free and honest we will be.  We will allow both our partner and ourselves the opportunity to grow and live the experiences that burst forth from our hearts, without limiting ourselves or anyone else by forcing them to be by our sides because…”I can’t live without…”.

What a beautiful thing love is, when someone comes to our side not because of what they promised – not to fulfill their word, not because they feel sorry that we feel bad without their presence or because they can’t leave us because it’s not right – but because quite simply, they take true pleasure in what they can create, invent, and be, by our side.   

Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 02/01/2019 linkedin

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars

(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Loading...

About the author

By MSc. Miriam Reyes

Mire Reyes has a mayor in nutrition and is a renowned therapist with years of experience in the care of overweight patients and nutritional problems. She offers help from her therapeutic approach that brings together the best of conventional therapies and alternative or complementary therapies. Linkedin

Reader Interactions

You may also be interested

  • Isoflavones and Adolescence: What are they, and what are they good for? Isoflavones and Adolescence: What are they, and what are they good for? Isoflavones are secondary vegetable substances with phytoestrogenic elements that act as protectors.  They are found [...]
  • Dietary Supplements: Advantages and Disadvantges Dietary Supplements: Advantages and Disadvantges There's no doubt about it: the best way to get the nutrients that the body [...]
  • Reduce Inflammation and Cure Wounds with Plantain Reduce Inflammation and Cure Wounds with Plantain Plantain possess several health promoting properties.  From long ago times, it has been recognized for [...]

You are here: The Joy of Wellness » Health and Beauty » Expressing love wisely

All about Health and Beauty

  • COPD: Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease COPD: Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease COPD is one of the most common pulmonary conditions, that causes severe breathing difficulty.  This [...]
  • Exercise for the Elderly prevents Dementia Exercise for the Elderly prevents Dementia We already know that sports and exercise is tremendously beneficial for health in children, adolescents [...]
  • Oats and their Multiple Uses for Natural Beauty Oats and their Multiple Uses for Natural Beauty There's no doubt about it that a good cup of oats in the morning is [...]
  • Bee venom: A possible cure for AIDS Bee venom: A possible cure for AIDS New posibilities of health treatments with Bee venom. A few years ago, AIDS (Acquired Immune [...]
  • Dietary Supplements: Advantages and Disadvantges Dietary Supplements: Advantages and Disadvantges There's no doubt about it: the best way to get the nutrients that the body [...]
Footer
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Copyright © 2022 · The Joy of Wellness
   
Disclaimer  About Us  Cookies Policy  Privacy Policy  Contact  Topics
The services, content and products on our website are for information purposes only. The Joy of Wellness does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment