Published: 08/20/2015 - Updated: 05/18/2018
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Who do I give my heart to? We never truly decide to fall in love. Rather, it just happens. It feels great being in love and knowing that anything is possible, feeling your heart open. Sometimes it can be conflicting though, especially when you fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, or when you’re attracted to two people.
Is it “bad” to go out with two people at the same time?
Well, there’s really nothing bad about it. You might even feel good about sharing with two people, getting to know them, going out and having fun. Judging what you feel and wanting to control your emotions will not help you grow, but rather it could sabotage you, preventing you from being certain about something, or having deeper insights. A lot of people think you shouldn’t go out with two people at the same time, but if you apply certain important pointers, then your experience could enrich not only you, but the other people involved as well, especially when these two other people are truly and honestly interested in you.
What should I do when I like two people?
Powerful positions for knowing what to do when you like two people:
- Don’t resist your feelings. Allow yourself to connect to what you feel, and start to flow from these emotions.
- If you start to feel like you really like two different people, and they both want to be with you, you need to be clear with both people. You don’t need to tell them the details about how you feel, that’s just for you to feel and understand. You should avoid saying things that promise anything more serious than what you could give.
- It’s important that you remove phrases from your head like “You shouldn’t do this” “I shouldn’t toy with other people’s emotions”, etc. You need to understand very clearly that experimenting and exploring what you want is not playing with anyone’s emotions. Let yourself go out with both people, always thinking of it as a friendship, and try to see which one you’re most compatible with.
- In order to know which is the best person for you, just let yourself feel, and give yourself the opportunity to see which person you’re most attracted to. It’s important that you don’t think about hurting their feelings. You first must think in your own happiness. This will help you make decisions that make others happy, even though at first it may not seem like it.
- If you can’t decide between one or the other, it’s important that you give yourself the opportunity to find out more. If you continue to be just friends, you might not truly discover what you need or want. So see which person wins your heart over just a little more, and open yourself up to the opportunity. Love is something that can be shared, it can be fun, it can teach you to understand yourself, and can provide emotional accompaniment. So go for whoever makes you feel brighter, who helps you see your virtues, your abilities, and choose whoever makes you shine most.
- Whenever you do decide one over the other, try to first talk with the person you have decided to have a deeper relationship. Then talk to the other person, and sincerely express to them that you’re already with someone else, that you appreciate who they are, and that you truly hope they are happy. You could even suggest that you continue to be friends. You don’t need to completely end your relationship, you could still have a very good friendship. If the other person decides to back away, that’s okay too. Although this “breakup” might hurt, let the other person move away. They also have the right to be happy and to find what they’re looking for.
I like two people, but one of them doesn’t like me back
If this is your case, then think about for the moment, being with the person that you do like, that likes you back. Impossible or difficult love relationships can wear you out quickly, while there are others that truly appreciate you and stand beside you wherever you go. Avoid being in a serious relationship just to make someone else jealous though, or to make someone else notice you. Not only will this make you frustrated over time, but it won’t help you create a sense of appreciation of esteem for yourself.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 05/18/2018
About the author