Published: 08/15/2018 - Updated: 02/09/2019
Author: MSc. Miriam Reyes
Talking about loving yourself can easily be confused with vanity, egoism, or being self-centered. But what loving yourself more truly is, is a truly grandiose attitude that enriches and influences all aspects of our lives in a magnificent way. This affects us in an emotional aspect, as well as a mental, spiritual, physical, economical, and even health aspect.
Love is necessary
Love is the foundation from which all creation sprouts. Love is present in everything, and the more we understand the wonderful depth of love, the more we fill ourselves with life. As we continue to allow this love to grow inside us, we feel more and more free, confident, and fulfilled, in all senses. Our relationships will be more pleasant, we’ll have more confidence in what we want and what we do, and most of all, we will have the ability to communicate to and understand other human beings. This creates new ways of life that are more and more creative and emotionally refined.
So, since I believe that we should all begin each day from a place of self-love, I will share with you a few ways to take on this new adventure. I am definitely no expert in love, I’m sure I still have a lot to learn, but I’ve heard that even if you’re just a small candle, and not the entire sun, be a candle for those that need a little bit of light to light their way.
Two important tips for loving yourself more:
1. Don’t criticize yourself: Being patient with yourself and not criticizing yourself is proof that you have understood that making mistakes is valuable in this life. A lot of people think that they have to be perfect so that others love them, which is why we are mercilessly demanding of ourselves. But trying to be perfect has its complications. It makes it hard to show who you are, and to honestly learn from you experiences. So each time you catch yourself scolding yourself or randomly demanding things of yourself, try to calm down a bit, and think about how that way of talking to yourself isn’t truly the way you’d like to talk to yourself. We frequently talk to ourselves with the same parental voice as those who educated us. This way of treating ourselves has stayed recorded in us, and has conditioned our lives. But the good part is, we eventually come to a point in our lives where we can begin to create our life just as we want to. This doesn’t mean you should go along with everything, but rather, that you are very objective about things, and that you support yourself in the same way you would support someone who is important to you. Be someone who says: “Well, we sure did learn from that experience”, rather than saying “I’m so stupid!”.
2. Don’t blame yourself: Guilt signifies that you truly feel like you did something “wrong”. You feel a sense of betrayal towards yourself (towards how to think or your goals). If not resolved, guilt can prevent you from leading a truly free and magnificent life, and can darken your days, and can even cause you to suffer from several illnesses. The truth is, there doesn’t exist any such thing as “good” or “bad”. Each experience that you have lived has been absolutely necessary, exactly as they happened, you needed to say exactly what you said, you needed to “stick your foot in your mouth”, and you needed to do exactly what you did, in order to gain new understanding. So if you ever feel guilty, think about that experience that makes you feel that way, and for as terrible as it may have been, you needed it in order to grow. Guilt is a double-edged sword: it can either sink you, or it can make you think and re-evaluate things from a new perspective.
Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 02/09/2019
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