Gossip: delicious, but not very useful

Yes!  Gossiping is fun!…You can even spend quite some time talking about others: “What do you think about what happened?” “ah, yeah, that’s just not right, I think…”, “Don’t even say that, that’s terrible!  I bet she does it because she’s hurt”.

Supposing, talking about and judging others.  The difference between gossip and news is that gossip tends to color things with our perception or personal opinion (with which we can add details or exaggerate things in regards to the original situation), which news is an objective narrative of something that happened, without mixing opinion or judgment in, or without saying anything more than we know.

News are sometimes necessary or inevitable, but without a doubt, it seems like people like gossiping better, because news seem to have more flavor, or are more interesting, when we give our opinion with it.  News turns into gossip when we start talking “about others”, or we give “our two cents worth” in the subject.

Why do we like to gossip?

Well, because it’s a fun, easy, and entertaining way to pass the time, among other things.  However, and to further deepen this respect, gossiping or talking about others is a lot of times synonymous with a deep sense of boredom or lack of emotion or pleasure in one’s life.

When we don’t like how we live, when we don’t get very excited over our lives, we search for any other thing to do to make it exciting or attractive.  That’s why a lot of people like to talk about others, about what they do or don’t do, about what they have or don’t have.  But why?  Because it’s how they make their lives exciting.

A lot of times things are said about others just to show ourselves that we are “better” than they are.

Judging others by what they do, have, or think in front of third parties could be interesting, and a way to pass the time, but it adds absolutely nothing useful to life, beyond just a good time.

Why is it not advisable to gossip?

It’s not that it’s “good or bad”, because to tell the truth, every human being is free to choose what appeals to them most, and whatever they crave.  So the question is really more or less: “What do you truly want for your life?”  If you want an impressive life, then the only thing that gossip will do for you is waste your time!  Because talking about people will not get you anywhere, except a false sense if impressiveness.

When a third person is being talked about, remember, it’s because two need to feel good.  A lot of times we need to resort to what happens to others to be able to compare ourselves, and therefore, to feel either more pitiful, or more fortunate.

Gossip is generally the perfect time to make another look “bad” in front of a third person.  If we objectively analyze this, with this action the only thing we are trying to do it so make ourselves look “good” in front of the third.  If we add details or exaggerate a situation against another human being, this only indicates a lack of strong security in who we are, because with this, we only want to justify that we are doing the “correct” thing to do.

However, we can learn a lot from others’ situations.  It’s not that we have to close our eyes and become cold to what happens outside.  No.  This means that we should observe with the clearest of objectivity, and analyze why certain things about others resound with us.

It is true that by trying to help others, we help ourselves.  However, if our mouths are not going to help the other, it’s best to overcome the temptation of giving your opinion, and close your mouth.  Talking just to talk in a useless waste of energy.  It’s best to try to think about objective solutions to the problems that excited us, because a lot of time, by thinking about these solutions we resolve doubt regarding certain situations ourselves, and this gives us clear thoughts.

Remember, gossip only gives a placebo effect of impressiveness.  If you are going to gossip, it’s better to save your energy to create the things you want.  It is true that a lot of times it is difficult to keep a strong posture in front of gossiping when your friends start to gossip.  However, as you may have already noticed, at the end of the day, when everyone finishes talking and leave, no one solved anything.

One point in favor…

Perhaps the only point in favor of gossiping could be that it is fun, and we do get to laugh a bit.  A sense of humor could perhaps be the only ingredient that makes gossip permissible.  Laughing about what happens to us or to others is a wise way of confronting situations and making them lighter, of restoring peace to life. But if you’re not going to have a good sense of humor, and what you’re going to say is just to complain, judge another, or make someone else look bad, it would be better than to use that energy for what you want to create in life.

Revised by: Dra. Loredana Lunadei on 09/27/2014

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